Bittersweet

Mom and I watched the National Geographic Channel's "Multiples" tonight--a show about the pre-birth development of twins, triplets, etcetera. I found it fascinating, and yet . . . here's the thing. I've mentioned that I was a twin. Susan and I were identical, but she left us after six hours. So. Watching this show about how multiples develop side by side, interact, fight for space, touch each other . . . all of that . . . it was riveting, but also . . . bittersweet. All I could think of was how much I miss Susan. Isn't that strange? It's been forty years that's she's been gone, and my conscious self never knew her at all, and yet . . . there's something about watching that, knowing that I shared that closeness for seven months and then lost it all at once and ended up in an isolette all by myself for the next six weeks, that just really makes me miss having her around . . . .

Just . . . sad, in a bittersweet kind of way. But really, it explains a lot about why I hate having my personal space invaded....

And then, I watched Grey's Anatomy, which was heartbreaking in its own way. And all in all, it's just been a pretty emotional night of television watching.

On the plus side, I talked to my best friend tonight. It's her birthday, so I called her. She promptly thanked me for the tea pot (yes, that tea pot) that I sent her. She said, "I thought at first you sent it because of the surgery." Surgery? What surgery?? Apparently, she had a procedure done on her foot last week--which she never told me about--and when the box came the day after, she thought that the timing was perfect . . . which, well, it was. Ironically, so. I had actually included instructions to deliver the gift on or near the 18th. In fact, when my box came yesterday, my first thought was "Great. If Dawn's came today, that's just right." But in fact, hers came last Friday . . . bad timing for the birthday, but perfect for spending the weekend home with a post-op foot. So . . . yay for me! (grin)

Anyway. That's it for tonight. No pictures. No bubbly cheer.....

I wonder if there are any good comedies on television right now?

Comments

[Carol]

You do need a comedy right about now. Since you can't see me making goofy faces for your entertainment, her's a {hug} instead. x

[Teyani]

It makes total sense that the program on twins and triplets would affect you so - there is a connection with you and Susan that transcends time and space. No bubbly cheer required here. Just know that we send compassion for your loss. 40 years, or 40 minutes.. it is still your twin.

[Carole]

I think twins and multiples are fascinating and I'm not surprised at your feelings of missing your sister.

[Cheryl]

I cried all the way through Grey's Anatomy too. Sad TV night all around.

[minnie]

dang you got spammed even with the new stuff. ugh.

my brother was a twin, and she died at birth as well. they weren't early, as far as i know, but they were unaware that there were two of them. while i don't have those kinds of visceral memories, i still wonder what life would have been like with a sister, when i had two brothers.

[Kristi aka Fiber Fool]

We keep DVDs of a couple choice comedies around for just such an occassion. Or some of the old black and white comedies are good too. I can totally undertand that it was a bittersweet night (though I've got two episodes of Grey's to catch up on).

[Lizzy B]

Arsenic and Old Lace is one of my favorite comedies of all time. With Cary Grant. Ah, *swoon*. I would recommend it highly. (I'm not a Brewster, I'm the son of a sea cook!) I'm sorry you had such a bittersweet evening. Virtual hugs and Max kisses sent your way.

[jess]

aw. **hugs**

[as for me, I probably should have known better than to watch grey's the week of my dad's birthday and anniversary of his death ... ]

[Jenny]

Aw, Deb.

My mom is a triplet separated at birth . . . she didn't know she was until she was in her early 40s, and have never met her 2 brothers. I wonder how she would have reacted to the show.

[JessaLu]

You definitely need to watch a comedy. I'm sorry you had a sad evening *hug*

[Shanti]

Teyani is right...time doesn't really make a difference in things like that. My sister-in-law's mom is a triplet, but only two survived, and their brother is still a subject of discussion in their 60s.

The Grey's Anatomy writers blog talks about the inspiration for the episode - which is that it's exactly what happenend in real life to the writer. For me that made it even more heart-rending than just feeling for George and missing my dad.

[Beth S.]

Comedy series? Nah. I rely on DVDs (preferably British!) when I need to laugh at something. I can't think of a single network comedy worth watching at the moment.

And I can't do doctor shows. No Grey's, no House, no ER (is that even still on?) Nothing with people bleeding and/or in obvious pain. (CSI's ok because they mostly deal with corpses--still squicky, but at least nobody is screaming. Ugh.)

[Lorette]

Time doesn't matter in these things. A loss is still a loss, even if you never really "knew" her.
I prescribe a good dose of British comedy. Monty Python, or anything with John Cleese in it, for that matter.

[Chris]

Whoa, there's a massive spam comment up there... I hope you found a comedy to watch...

[jessie]

Ah, twins. My husband is a (fraternal) twin. His mother had 10 children that lived and more that died at birth or shortly after. In all, she had four sets of twins! One set died as babies from illness, I believe. And in another set, one twin died shortly after birth but one lived (and still does).

I can't imagine my husband and his twin sister in utero. They don't get along!

[Annie]

I imagine you do miss your sister. That must have been a difficult program for both you and your mom to watch. Was "The Thirteenth Tale" difficult for you to read?

[Carrie K]

Great timing on the post op though! Serendipity.

I cried through Gray's Anatomy too. I'm hoping to never have to deal with a loss like that. My brother is a surviving twin. Must have been odd to watch the show, being a twin but not knowing your twin.

[Deb]

Wow - thanks for that touching glimpse into "Deb". I can't imagine how that would feel. Thanks for sharing.